A boundary is a limit placed on behaviour. It is meant to protect the one who establishes the boundary. Boundaries are necessary to civilized life, they are the result of self-ownership and self-responsibility. Just like the terms of a contract between businessmen, boundaries set the standards for relationships.
I would recommend everyone to check out Steve Franssen for more on boundaries. He concretized the idea for the philosophical community and has personally enlightened me on this issue. I will talk about some of my own history with boundaries and the general idea of it. He goes much deeper. His book Make Self-Knowledge Great Again is simply the bible of self-knowledge and a great starting point for those curious about the concepts discussed on this blog.
I used to be someone with poor interpersonal boundaries. As I learned philosophy and applied it more consistently in my life, I improved my behaviour. I learned that I need to take care of myself, the responsibility for that is on me, not my friends or family (unless you’re a child!). I made a separation of duties and I was able to accomplish much more. I also improved my relationships and made them an equal exchange of value, not a codependent mess.
I was also an open-borders libertarian. I learned that there is a difference between nations. I also learned to care for my own people before others. That is the only way we’re going to get anything done to make the world better. Our responsibility is only to ourselves. I want to help others too, but you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you help your kids. Everyone understands this.
Boundaries are empiricism and voluntarism applied to relationships. Empiricism calls on us to deal with the world as it is. To work with from human nature, not against it. I’d like us to reach a point where the State is no longer necessary. Where we are free to make whatever contracts we deem to be profitable to us. We don’t live in a world where people can handle that kind of freedom. We live in a world where we need organized violence and taxation to protect the genetics and cultural heritage of our people.
You don’t have to like empiricism, you don’t have to like the necessity of boundaries, but you have to live with it. Life gets easier if you enjoy being subservient to objective truth.
Bring your standards up and don’t let anyone drag you down into the mud. Don’t let harmful people into your life or into your country. Build a wall for your inner life and protect it like the Hungarians protect their beautiful country.